Popeye 3: Requiem (2026)

 Subject:  Popeye Requiem (Popeye 3)

Year:  2026

Director:  William Stead

Run Time:  about an hour

Cast:  Lara Sas, Steven Murphy

Genre:  killer Popeyes

Skin:  can't afford that

Blood:  can't really afford that either

Rating:  0.5/5

The Story:

Remember the second movie, where we learned all about how Popeye and his sister Olive Oil (she's his sister?) were genetic freaks and part of some kind of miliary program gone awry?  Yeah, we get more of that.  Popeye breaks out of a military installation and is hunted down by soldiers.

The girl from the second movie is still around too, spreading her time between helping the soldier and running from the monster.  Towards the end we

Review:

It's hard to tell where the last movie ends and this one begins.  The same story, the same lead cast, the exact same locations.  It feels like one longer movie was broken into three parts and a little filler was shot to get them over the hour mark, making the whole thing blend together into a huge pile of nothing with a jaunty white cap sat on its angry little head.

Taking cue from the second movie, this one also backs way off on anything that might entertain the viewer.  Minimal gore effects, no nudity, reused locations, and a story that keeps on chugging out lore that I can't imagine anyone being that interested in.

Once again the two leads do a decent job, and there's an almost interesting moment at the end where someone else uses the super solider serum to fight Popeye, but it's too little, too late.  And I, for one, still don't give a good goddamn about how Popeye grew up, who his parents or siblings are, or how he ended up what he is.  Keep some of that in the shadows, bring on some fresh meat for the psycho, give them a bit of character, and let it go at that.

Worked all through the eighties, would still work today.  You can even keep the hat.

I didn't think you could get much worse than the second movie, but I'll be damned if they didn't manage it.  It feels generous to give this one a 0.5 out of 5, or to suggest anyone watch any of this series.  

I love the fact that we have a new wave of directors from the UK trying their hand at horror and old school, North American slashers, but there really needs to be some quality control on this stuff, some originality added, and a few less little kid characters being given the Slipknot overhaul.  It isn't enough to make a good movie, and you damn well know it, Stead.